change

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. It's an interesting thing, ever present and unavoidable.

Sometimes, change is sudden. An iron curtain falls down and splits reality into "then" and "now." Sometimes it sneaks up so slowly that we don't even notice it creeping closer and closer. Sometimes change is voluntary and effortful, and sometimes it is violent and forced and unwelcome. Sometimes change is progressive and we march triumphantly forwards, and sometimes it is regressive and doesn't look like change at all because it is a return to a familiar past.

About all that I know about change is that it is constant and unstoppable-- the force that breathes life into our years. We may beg for it or we may fear it, but we cannot avoid it. It usually looks different than we expected, and sometimes it is more brilliant even than our highest hopes.

Change is not an intention-- it is movement. It does not live in our heads but in our action or inaction. Seek to hide from it, and its ugly sister--stagnation--will find you. This, too, is a kind of change, a change into something smaller and sadder and weaker. We must be mindful of our tendency to change and hook our efforts onto directing this change towards growth, towards progress, towards our dreams and goals.

We will never be done, but we are rewarded for each step we take. The distant dream is not a mirage-- it is as real as you or me. It may seem to get further and further away, but that is only because as we approach it, we gain a truer understanding of what we are seeking. Where we were once aiming only to be good, we now understand that we must strive to be better. Not better than those around us but better than our nagging sense of doubt convinces us we can be.

So I will keep walking this road of eternal change all the days of my life, hoping to be transformed into something beautiful and honest and real.